One ultimate obstacle to creating progress in your life is unacknowledged internal resistance.
We make promises to ourselves all the time while resisting some aspect of the promise and it’s easy not to notice internal resistance because our intention is so positive and our knowledge of what we “should” do is so strong!
How do you know if you have INTERNAL RESISTANCE? Well…
Internal resistance can feel like doubt or the sinking feeling that you know you should do something and you’re not sure how to make it happen. Instead you’re going to fake it til you make it or just do what your knowledge dictates is the “right” thing to do and hope it gets you what you want. This works, sometimes…
When winging it and faking it doesn’t hit the mark, internal resistance often begins to feel like anxiety in response to doing what you’ve intended. This is particularly frustrating to many people who ask, why am I uncomfortable doing what I know I’m supposed to do!
At this point, it’s likely that resistance is being fueled by a lack of belief. You just don’t believe. You don’t buy into to what’s happening for other people and you feel like there’s no way it could happen for you. You have a long legitimate list of circumstances, experiences, people and things that prove to you in this moment that whatever you’re trying to do, just isn’t going to happen for you while in the same moment – you’d still like to see it happen!
To know if you have internal resistance, ask yourself this – Is there anywhere in life where I want to move forward and I feel simultaneously held back? If your answer is yes, that’s your white rabbit! Open a journal, find the area of life where this is true and start writing down whatever your mind lets out on the subject to acknowledge what’s really happening.
So What? Why should I care about internal resistance?
Moving forward with resistance keeps you in about the same place. You’ll take one step forward and one step back in a dance that keeps you about where you are now.
If this sounds like something you’ve experienced before then stick with me here. Did you want to stay exactly where you are now with no progress or change to any area of your life?
Something tells me your answer is NO so let’s ask; Now What?
What do you do if you know you’re moving forward with resistance to the very act of moving forward!
Step 1: Acknowledge it – explore your experience to be honest with yourself about what’s happening. You don’t have to tell anyone else and if you do, you’re likely to get glowing confirmation because EVERYONE that I’ve encountered in 20 years of coaching and teaching, does this and it’s often nice to know you are not alone 😉.
Step 2: Personify it – get to know your resistance as an energy separate from you. It’s something you experience, and resistance has a mind and story of its own. It will stop you in your tracks every time if you haven’t taken a moment to notice what it’s saying, how it makes you feel and what it’s resisting.
Step 3: See your resistance and your promise side the side. When you see your resistance standing side by side with the beautiful promise you’ve made to lose weight, eat less, work less, be kind, stop yelling at your kids, sleep more, call a friend, get out of the house or spend less time on a screen…something miraculous happens! Suddenly, you see resistance for what it is and you can decide if you agree and want to consciously choose to keep resisting.
As you prepare for the end of this year and the beginning of the next, start by noticing where you are resisting. Moving forward is always aided by knowing the ways in which you are holding yourself back to begin with.
